House Work

In the beginning I was going to save all the working-on-the-house pictures till the big before/after post, but then I realized it would be the world's longest post with the most pictures ever. Most of these are crappy iPhone pictures because I don't like getting out the camera when my hands are all dirty, but I still want to save the memories. I need to be better about not using the iPhone only. Additionally, half the house pictures I took got deleted at the same time I somehow deleted Devin's birthday pictures. Even without the pictures, I'm pretty sure Rich will never forget all the effort and hard work he's putting in. He's been working almost non-stop since our closing at the beginning of November. He took the two weeks off around Christmas and worked almost all day every day except Christmas and Christmas Eve, and now he's there every night after work till midnight or later, then all day Saturday. He's so awesome.

 

 

The boys get all sorts of satisfaction going over to the new house and working along with Daddy. They also enjoy the fact that going to the house usually means watching shows. When the weather is okay, I make them have outdoor time. I win mother-of-the-year awards when I usher them into the backyard then lock them out and tell them to have fun and that they will know they can come in because the door will be unlocked. It is an amazing backyard, and they are having lots of fun, but I'm sure the neighbors love hearing them scream to be let back in. 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, we are finally to the point of seeing things come together, and it's so exciting; there is some paint on the walls, a pretty new counter top, and gorgeous new light fixtures. This man of mine is making this new house the best ever. The boys and I certainly can't wait to live there and to have Rich back at night!

Candid Landon

There were some great shots of Landon Boy this month that I wanted to save. These all highlight his adorable and independent personality. 

 

These really don't need any explanation, but I will say that the doggie in many of the pictures is his new favorite possession. He got it for Christmas from Devin, and I'm not sure anything else from Christmas has made as much of an impression as this doggie. It's name is "cute little puppy," and this is how he refers to it, even at 5:00 am when he comes into my room informing me that he cannot find his "cute yittle puppy" and needs my help. My only worry about this dog is that since it was a Dollar Store buy it will not last long.

We sure love this independent, persistent, and intense little man. He's an extrovert to a "T" and is not afraid of anything. He has a great scowl face and gives this to us frequently when he's upset at being disciplined or when he doesn't get his way. He engages kids much older and bigger than him and is not at all uncomfortable talking to anyone and everyone we meet. And he gives the best kisses, though I could do without the doggie licks he tries to give.

January Things

These boys keep me on my toes every day. I love them so much--even when they make me the craziest I've ever been. This mothering thing really baffles me at times and makes me feel totally inept at others. But I'm trying. I try so hard be better and to improve so I can show these boys I love them. I am trying to raise them to be kind, respectful human beings, though their intentions seem to be at complete odds with these ideas--why do they always want to be bad guys? Anyway, they are hilarious and adorable and crazy and they sometimes play nice together. I love the moments when I hear them talking and playing so nicely--especially sweet are Devin's offers of, "Do you want me to read that book to you?"

The moments I dread are the moments when they start beating on each other, which prompts Devin's whining and screaming and then Landon commences scowling and telling me why he did what he did, which is usually that Devin was mean to him first. Oh, can they be so mean. Some mornings I swear Landon wakes up with one thought in his mind: "If I relentlessly tease Devin today, I bet I can make him scream for time on end." Newsflash, yes, Landon Boy, you can. I've tried to employ the "getting along bench" where they have to sit together on the bench until they each are ready to tell me what they did and then are ready to apologize to each other. (Here they are so upset that I'm taking their picture.)

This always provides entertainment for me, albeit usually because there is more whining and fighting involved, and they really hate it. One day they were sitting there and Landon was just continuing to beat on Devin (which I was trying to stop) and when Devin tried to ask Landon to stop Landon just used his best evil whisper voice to inform him, "NEVER!!" Which, of course, started off a whole new round of screaming and whining. Oh my. In the eye of the frustrating storm, it does make it better when Landon gives us his grumpiest faces. He is a hoot, that child.

Besides fighting with each other and making each other cry, they do enjoy eating popcorn and watching movies together. Family movie night is always a huge hit. They can down a huge bowl of popcorn in no time.

I'm not sure we're making any great strides toward familial peace, but we have had a fairly good month. These boys are hilarious, and I will never tire of their kisses and hugs and "I love yous."

Walking with Dinosaurs

We gave Devin tickets to Walking with Dinosaurs as his main birthday present. It was a special date for Mommy and Devin that was highly anticipated and was counted-down toward. It was so great to have a night alone with this little man. 

On the way there we had great conversation and once we parked he hopped out of the car and came around to my door so he could open it. Adorable! He let me hold his hand, even, though he was less thrilled about the forced pictures. 

Before we left the house I told him that he could pick one treat/thing to buy at the event. Upon entering the arena he immediately chose popcorn, but I advised waiting for just a bit. He waited long enough to spy the cotton candy and then it was a done deal. Later he did tell me that he wanted this spinning light thing, and I had to inform him he'd already made his choice; he handled this so maturely even I was surprised! Anyway, the cotton candy was a great choice and he thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't even say a word when he proceeded to eat it like an animal and got seriously sticky.

He was a little nervous before the show started about whether the dinosaurs would be real and what if he got scared. I let him know that he could hold my hand or that he could sit on my lap, if needed. There were some moments where hand-holding was necessary, mostly during the Tyrannosaurus Rex part, and there was a moment of terror ("for real!?") when the paleontologist told us that the earth was going to start moving very fast, but overall Devin thought the show was fantastic. I loved hearing his gasps and "oohs" and when he would shout out dinosaur facts. We both thought this was a great show, and I was impressed with how everything was done. I had such a great time on our date and am so lucky have this dinosaur-loving boy to mother.

Birthday Dinner with Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa Millett have a tradition that they take each grandchild out on a special date for their birthday. This tradition starts when you turn 5, so this was Devin's year. He was SO excited. He kept waiting and waiting for Grandma and Grandpa to get home from Tropic so they could go. He got to pick the restaurant and he put a lot of time into this decision. He discussed iHOP, McDonald's, and Noodles and Co. before finally settling on Subway so he could get Cheeto's. His decision was based solely on the fact that he could get Cheeto's there. When the night finally came, he was all smiles and had a great time on his special night with Grandma and Grandpa.

A Glimpse of Devin at 5 Years Old

I forgot to post Devin's 5-year interview. Loved his answers. This little man is hilarious and intense and perceptive and sensitive. He teaches me so much. He frustrates me so much. I love him so much. 

How old are you? 5

What makes you happy? That I get to play with Landon all the time.

What is your favorite animal? Elephant

What is your favorite thing to eat? Macaroni and cheese

What is your least favorite thing to eat? Tomatoes

What is your favorite thing to do? Play in the snow

What is your favorite TV show? Bob the Builder

What are you really good at? Playing with remote control car

What is your favorite movie? Finding Nemo

What is your favorite color? Red

What is your favorite song? "I Stand All Amazed"

Who is your best friend? Ally

What do you and your mom do together? Read books

What do you and your dad do together? Work on the new house

What is your favorite sport? Baseball

Where is your favorite place to go? New house

What is your favorite book? Berenstain Bears

What do you want to be when you grow up? Engineer, like Daddy

Devin at 5 years old:

How can you not love a child who makes lists and then gives himself check marks? He continues to love sounding out words and attempting to write them out.

 

He's doing really well with reading, too. He is great at sounding at words phonetically, and has learned a lot of sight words. Every time he reads a book, I grin. He loves the library so much, and he gets so excited when we go and he gets to use his own library card.

 

As stated in his birthday interview, he loves going to the new house. He wants to be so helpful. Sometimes he's not so helpful in his help, but it's always so sweet when he packs up his tool bag and tells us he's got some heavy work to do.

His new favorite TV show (found after the interview) is Wild Kratts. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up (again, the interview answer was a surprise) and now tells me that not only does he want to be a dinosaur scientist but also a scientist of animals. He is perceptive enough to indeed be a scientist someday. He rattles off facts and it is heart-warming when a new-found fact blows his mind (as in, did you know cheetah's can run 70-miles-per-hour? Did you know mother koalas have pouches in their mouth they use to feed their babies?).

One of his current obsessions is his boat constructed from cardboard boxes. Every day he tells me he's packing up to move; I finally had to ask him to stop pulling off his blankets every morning because I disliked having to re-make his bed every night. He spends a lot of time organizing his toys and possessions inside the boat and adds new features almost daily. His imagination and creativity continues to impress me. I'm very excited for this boy to have his own room again to see where else his mind takes him. He can't wait for his own space, as well. We sure love this 5 year old.

Goodbye 2014.

I struggle to write a year in review this year because I don't really feel butterflies and fresh cinnamon bun feelings for 2014 and no one likes to be a drag. 2014 wasn't the worst year of my life or anything. Maybe. There were lots of great things and wonderful days full of love and happiness, for sure. But overall, on the whole, I would have to say "good riddance to 2014." It was a rough one. I don't want to be a complainer. There are so many who have had so much more to deal with than I. And all those moments and trials and things that tested me don't seem like much when comparing them to others' experiences. But they were my issues. And they were hard for me. There was so much for me to learn in 2014. I'm guessing I failed most of those tests, considering my bad attitude, but I hope that I improved a little. Overall, I think I was supposed to learn that I'm certainly not in charge. I can make plans and I can guide and direct children, but in the end, it's in the Lord's hands--and in the hands and hearts of my sweet boys, who can decide to listen or not. I tried hard to learn to let go. To just let be. But I'm really bad at that. I'm not sure I improved in this regard at all.

We started 2014 with such a major change, one that was right and one that we'd been looking forward to, but it was also so much harder than I thought it would be. Specifically for me and Devin. Thus, I worried so much more about Devin, especially, this year. Obviously my kids are always at the forefront and I'm constantly worried about my parenting skills, but Devin and I had a rough go of things together and separately. I prayed so much for him. I worried so much about him and what was best for him. I tried so hard to mother him better. He made great strides; I'm not sure I did. He's much better adjusted now, but I still pray that things will continue to improve for him once we get into our new house. And I pray every night for help in being a better mother.

The house issue obviously had a huge impact on our family this year. It did take a lot longer to get an offer we felt good about on our house in California--there were some learning experiences along the way--and then when we found a house here in Utah it was one we had to wait on and then put work into, which then meant lots less time together as a family. All in the Lord's timing. The boys and I are so lucky to have such a wonderfully hard-working father and husband in Rich. He's certainly carried a lot of the weight this year. I can't wait to move into our own place mostly so that Rich can have his nights and weekends back.

Aside from all the "big" things, I, personally, had a lot of health and physical things going on that affected everything else. I certainly didn't feel like doing very much, and that was hard on my two very active little boys. I feel like instead of looking on the bright side of things I let myself wallow too much, which made me a sub par parent. Certainly something I need to work on in 2015. I sure love those boys, and my goal for 2015 is to show them more love. Throughout the year I just kept waiting for the moment when all would work out perfectly. When I would feel that things were how they should be. When the boys and I would feel at peace. I never really got there.

So, that's all sad and mopey and lame. But it's real. That's honestly how I've felt most of the year. I've probably ignored friends and pushed some away due to my shining personality. I don't want to be all negative though. Because as I said, there were some really great things in 2014. We had some fun family trips. We sold a house! We bought a house! Rich has really been enjoying his work. Devin has grown up so much and has started reading. Landon has developed his own unique personality and makes us laugh every day. My family are my bright spots, and I'm looking forward to spending more time together being happy and sharing love in 2015!

As I was writing, I found this blog post verbalizing what I'd been feeling all year but didn't know how to put it into words. I needed this.

2014 Book List

When I set my reading goal for 2014 I really expected to fail. What better way to fail at a goal than to prepare yourself for just that? Well, in the end, I was this close to meeting my goal, but I fell short of my planned 60 books, coming in at 59. I still call that pretty good. I even tried to finish a 150-page book in the last few days to skate in at the wire, but there is just too much going on (and that's kind of cheating. 3 of my last 5 books were pretty short). The bad news: I didn't make my goal because we are spending all free time working on our new house. The good news: We have a new house! Also good news, I got the worst strep throat ever and was quarantined for the better part of two days, which gave me all sorts of reading time. So really, I should be thanking the strep throat for even making me that much closer to my reading goal.

Anyway, this was a weird year in the reading department (it was a weird year all around), wherein I didn't read that many books I loved. I certainly read a lot of crappy books. And I read a lot of just-okay books--books that I will never read again, nor think about. I didn't stretch myself too much, and read mostly fiction, which is something I'll need to work on in 2015. There were some gems, and for those I'm thankful. Here's my list this year. Books in bold are recommended, or at least they resonated with me. And Wiley Cash is my new favorite author. Plus I like his name.

1. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
2. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
3. The Truro Bear and Other Adventures: Poems and Essays by Mary Oliver
4. A Girl Like You by Gemma Burgess
5. In the Time of Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
6. Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
7. The Round House by Louise Erdrich
8. A Land More Kind Than Home by Wiley Cash
9. The Rent Collector by Camron Wright
10. How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez
11. The House Girl by Tara Conklin
12. Lighthousekeeping by Jeanette Winterson
13. The Explanation for Everything: A Novel by Lauren Grodstein
14. Wonder by R.J. Palacio
15. Norwegian by Night by Derek B. Miller
16. Rage Against the Dying by Becky Masterman
17. Orphain Train by Christina Baker Kline
18. The World's Strongest Librarian: A Memoir of Tourette's, Faith, Strength, and the Power of Family by Josh Hanagarne
19. Vanished: The Sixty-Year SEarch for the Missing Men of World War II by Wil S. Hylton
20 The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
21. Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson
22. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resiliance, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
23. The Maze Runner by James Dashner
24. The Crucible of Doubt: Reflections on the Quest for Faith by Terryl and Fiona Givens****
25. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
26. George Washington's Secret Six: The Spy Ring that Saved the American Revolution by Brian Kilmeade
27. Divergent by Veronica Roth
28. My Name Used to be Muhammad: The True Story of a Muslim Who Became a Christian by Tito Momen
29. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
30. Whistling Past the Graveyard by Susan Crandall
31. Deliberate Motherhood: 12 Key Powers of Peace, Purpose, Order and Joy by the Power of Moms
32. Heidi by Johanna Spyri
33. Little Lord Fauntleroy by Frances Hodgson Burnett
34. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
35. Heart of a Samurai by Margi Preus
36. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
37. The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henriquez
38. The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean my Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin
39. The Universe Versus Alex Woods by Gavin Extence
40. Shanghai Girls by Lisa See
41. Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan
42. Dreams of Joy by Lisa See
43. Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
44. This Dark Road to Mercy by Wiley Cash
45. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
46. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
47. One Thousand White Women: The Journals of May Dodd by Jim Fergus
48. Edge of Eternity by Ken Follett
49. Hollow City by Ransom Riggs
50. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
51. Motherhood Realized: An Inspiring Anothology for the Hardest Job You'll Ever Love by the Power of Moms
52. The Rise and Fall of Great Powers by Tom Rachman
53. Red Berries, White Clouds, Blue Sky by Sandra Dallas
54. The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
55. Matchless: A Christmas Story by Gregory Maguire
56. Food Rules: An Eater's Manual by Michael Pollan
57. Christopher Columbus: "a man among gentiles" by Clark B. Hinckley
58. Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
59. Forgotten Bookmarks: A Bookseller's Collection of Odd Things Lost Between the Pages by Michael Popek